We are long overdue for a blog update... It seems like it has been go, go, go since we got back in country. But here we go...
We finally had our first trip to Bulgaria at the end of May. We have been talking about this country for almost 3 years and finally got to go there. I (Kathy) was dreading the flights!! In fact, on our very first flight, I actually said that I wished we didn't have to do this. As we were taxiing down the runway, I seriously thought that I wanted to tell them to stop the plane because I couldn't do it. Of course, I couldn't do that, so I just squeezed Justin's hand and prayed that God would keep us safe. We were either in an airplane or airport for 24 hours straight, it was exhausting!! But after 3 planes rides and 2 pat downs (both on me of course, because I look so dangerous), we made it safely to Bulgaria.
We got through customs, got our luggage and found our driver. The first thing she tells us is that there is another family that will be with us. What? Another family? Just riding with us from the airport? Oh no, they will be with us the entire time! We were not told about that. I can't say that we were happy about having to share this experience with a couple that we didn't know. But more about them later.
We packed up all of our stuff and got to see the capital city, Sofia. I would love to say that it was beautiful, but I can't. It is a huge city, but very cramped. There are cars parked everywhere, good luck finding a spot. And every building was covered in graffiti! Thankfully, our much beloved family pastor had gotten us a free hotel, and it was in the business part of Sofia. This part is much nicer, and it was a 5-star hotel!! It was AMAZING, thanks Rich and Barbie! So we got to the hotel, and tried to stay up a little longer so we could sleep through the night. I think I made it until about 8pm, Justin conked out sometime before that.
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| View from our hotel |
The next day, we left early to drive to the city where the kids were. {Fun fact: In Bulgaria, they actually drive on the right side of the road.} This city was at least 5 hours away! So both couples, along with 2 translators, and all six of our luggage crammed into one car to make the trip. It was not the most comfortable situation. Now, we had been warned about the driving in Bulgaria, by another couple. So I was prepared for it to be bad, and it was! But even though they all drove too fast and cut each off and followed too closely, I was encouraged by the fact that we didn't see any wrecks at all. Then as we were turning around after a missed turn, a big truck ran into us!! No one was hurt, just shocked, and really there was minimal damage. (The name on the truck was "Speedy", ironic huh?) But the police report took over an hour on our already 5 hour trip. Ugh!! Don't these people realize that we are on our way to meet our children for the first time?!
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| With our new Bulgarian cop friend. |
Anyways, off we go again... So, the closer we got to the city, the more nervous we got. How do I describe this feeling? It was kind of like the feeling you would get on a first date, you think... I hope they like me, I hope they think I'm pretty, I hope I'm everything they've dreamed I would be... Most parents know their children from the first day they were born, but our children will have a first impression of us, that they will probably remember for the rest of their lives. How nerve-racking is that? We were told that the kids were already there, so as we walk up to the municipal building, my eyes are darting around everywhere to try and catch a glimpse of them. We come up to the office door and I think, they must be inside. So we are psyching each other up, getting excited, and we open the door... and they aren't in there. Just a bunch of social workers who want to talk to us first. Oh, ok. So, do we have any questions for them? Um, yeah, where are my kids? Like I can think of questions at a time like this. So they gave us some good information about the girls and their history and then they move on to the other couple. We sit back and relax, thinking that it will be a while until we were finished and... in walk our girls! Wait, this wasn't the big moment that I dreamed of when we finally get to see our kids face-to-face. I shouldn't be surprised, nothing has happened the way I thought it would so far. We shuffled into another room and gave the girls some presents (coloring books and crayons). As they colored, we just sat next to them and tried to interact as much as we could. We had been told that on the first day they would just tell them that we were friends, and not that we were there to adopt them. Apparently, some people have backed out of the adoption after the first day, so they do this to protect the children. It was a little weird, because there was no chance of us backing out, but we just went along with it. Well, one of the girls, A, asked the social worker if we were going to adopt them and she told them yes. So they got super excited and said "Mom! Daddy!" in their little Bulgarian accents. Talk about your heart just breaking! I wasn't quite prepared for that in the first 10 minutes! I would have thought that them calling me mom would be overwhelming and emotional, but they are my kids and honestly, it felt normal and natural. They told the translator that they thought I was pretty and liked my hair because they had pictured me with long hair. Whew! Thank goodness, their first impression was good. I had been so worried, but they took to me right away. Dad was a different story though, they honestly didn't care much for him at first. The second girl, E, would go to him, but that was just because A was "hogging mommy" (her own words). We had been prepared for something like this to happen, but for some reason, Justin thought it would go the other way and they would take to him first. He was definitely disappointed. We then took the girls out to the playground. They have a lot of energy! They only wanted to come to mom, but then dad started picking them up, spinning them around and putting them on his shoulders. They wanted me to do this too, but I said that only dad does that kind of stuff, so they would want to go to him. So then they wanted daddy because he could do the fun stuff, and they still wanted mom, well, because I'm MOM! :) This definitely helped them to start bonding with dad too. We spent a few hours with them and then left to go to the hotel, it was a long, hot, exhausting day, so we were ready to go. The six of us (both couples and the 2 translators) went to dinner together. In Bulgaria, you better have a couple of hours for a meal, they are in no rush. {Fun fact: They don't bring out every one's food at one time, they bring it out whenever it's ready. Some people might be completely finished before others have any food.}
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| Some of our amazingly delicious Bulgarian food! Yum!! |
The next day, we got to go to the girls school and watch them do their "repetition". We really had no idea what this meant. It was basically what we would call a rehearsal for their kindergarten graduation. We were told that they needed the girls to come because they had big parts in the program, but we had no idea how big! They were involved in every song and dance, and they each had their own speaking parts! There were about 50 kids, and our girls were picked out to do 2 of the 3 speaking parts. They were also picked to be 2 of the 4 dancers in what we call the "Umbrella dance". We were pleasantly surprised at how well they did. The are so smart and talented, we are so blessed! I am so glad that we were allowed to go watch them, and of course I video taped it, but I can't post it yet. The girls also got to introduce us to some of their friends and teachers while we were there. It almost makes us sad to be taking them away from the school where they are thriving. But we have to remember that their future as orphans in Bulgaria isn't good. God had a plan to bring us all together, and we should just be thankful that they are in a good situation while we can't be with them.
The next couple of days were pretty much the same. We would meet the girls in the morning at the park, play for a few hours, go eat lunch, play for several more hours and then send them to their foster home. We basically spent the entire days in the park outside where it was very hot. We were exhausted everyday! {Fun fact: In Bulgaria, they nod their head up and down for "no" and side to side for "yes", the opposite of us. This is very confusing in conversations!}
On the last day with the girls, we only got until lunch to be with them because we had to drive the 5 hours back to Sofia that night. I had been fine emotionally for the whole trip so far, I hadn't cried once. But as we walked up to the foster mom, I knew that this was the last time I would see them for several months. Our adoption coordinator had told us not to cry in front of the girls, so I tried my hardest to hold it in until they were walking away. We gave our hugs and kisses and said our "I love yous" (Justin taught them how to say it in English). I did it, they were walking away and so I let the tears fall. Well, after they had only gone a few steps, they turned around to wave and I could see the concerned looks on their faces because mom and daddy were crying. We tried to smile through the tears so they wouldn't worry or get upset. For the next 50 yards or so, they practically walked backwards so they could wave and blow kisses to us. It was very sweet, but torture at the same time. I just needed to break down, but had to keep it together. They weren't supposed to see us walk away, so we had to stand there until they went around the corner. We then went into the office to do an exit interview. I wasn't able to say anything but "thank you" to the social workers as I was bawling my eyes out. I knew our goodbyes would be hard, but you just can't prepare yourself for a moment like that. We had waited almost 3 years to meet our children. Then after only a few days with them, we had to say goodbye not knowing when we would see them again. It's heartbreaking!
All in all, we had a wonderful time. We got to know our kids personalities, their likes and dislikes, their faults and strengths... the list goes on and on. This was an experience that the 4 of us will never forget! We have tons of stories about the girls and the trip, but there isn't enough time or space to write them all now.
Back in Sofia, we didn't have anywhere to stay, because we came back a day earlier than we thought we would. This is where that other couple comes in... We had not been happy at all to have another couple with us at first, nothing against them personally, we just didn't want to share our experience with people we didn't know. But after the first day, I realized how great it was to have them... someone else who was American and spoke fluent English that we could talk to... another first time mother meeting her kids and knowing exactly how I was feeling... we definitely bonded! So, when we had no where to stay in Sofia, they offered to share their "apartment" with us. It was 2 bedrooms, and we were able to split the cost so we each saved money. It also gave us the opportunity to spend more time together and talk about everything. God knew what we needed and what would be best for us, even though we didn't agree at first. God is so good!
The next day, we signed the papers to officially accept the girls for adoption and to change their names!! {Not-so-Fun fact: We are not allowed to post the girls names, pictures, location, or any personal information until the adoption is finalized.}
We then had 2 days to explore the country before we came back home. I got in contact with a missionary to Macedonia, which is right next to Bulgaria, through a co-worker. She happened to be in Sofia that same weekend, so we were able to get together. She could understand the language and she was able to drive. It's amazing how God works things out. She took us to the top of the mountain, the one in the picture above. And accidentally (because we got lost) to the historic Boyana church.
We got to hear all about how she became a missionary and why in Macedonia. Justin said he knew that he had just met her, but felt like he'd known her for years. She was such a blessing.
On Sunday, our missionary friend Betty, took us to the International Baptist Church in Sofia. It was wonderful to be in a room full of people speaking English. Many of the missionaries there were from America and one was actually from Virginia! But the best part was being able to sing praises to our Lord and Savior after the most amazing adventure that He brought us on. We spent the rest of that day exploring more of Sofia and preparing for our trip back home.
Since we have been back, we have been able to Skype with the girls every Sunday morning. It lasts about an hour. It is a little frustrating because they don't speak much English, but we wave, smile, blow kisses and make faces at each other. We do have an English tutor who is teaching them a couple of lessons a week. We were told that they won't be fluent from these lessons, but it is good mental preparation for the transition. They are very smart, and very excited to learn English so we think and hope that they will catch on quickly.
There are 4 steps that need to happen for us to go back and bring the girls home. It is all government and court stuff that I will not bore you with. We have passed the first 2 steps and hope to reach the third one by the end of July. However, the Bulgarian government shuts down for the month of August, so nothing will happen during that month. They will pick it back up in early September, and we are told that there is a 4-6 week time frame to reach that last step. Which means that if everything goes well, we should be planning our second trip in October!!!
We still have 2 fees left to pay, the first one is covered by a grant that we received a while back, the second is the largest international fee, $8,900. But after that fee, all that's left is travelling expenses. For the second trip, we will have to be in country for 10 days, this is to take care of all legal, visa, and medical stuff that needs to be done before the girls can leave the country. But we will have the girls with us the entire time, and will be there legal parents. We estimate the remaining cost to be about $15,000 (includes the last fee, travel and in-country costs). That sounds like a lot of money, but somehow God will provide. He has seen us through the entire process so far, and we trust that He will see us through to the end! We have applied for 5 additional grants and have only heard back from 1 (we didn't get that one). Please pray that we hear back soon from the other 4, with good news. Also, pray that we would have peace and patience through the next several months and that God would be preparing all 4 of us to be one family!
Thank you to all of our friends and family!! We would not have gotten this far if it wasn't for your love, encouragement, prayer support and financial support. We can't begin to explain how much it means to us! We have been amazed at how our God works, and our faith and trust in Him continues to grow daily.
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