"Faith and worry don't mix."

I am a worrier!! I worry about everything, literally. I can't even watch or push a child on a swing set because I worry that they will bump into another child or hit the wooden supports or fall off or... You get the idea.  The adoption has brought on a whole new set of worries! One of the biggest worries (there are many) that we have had is for the finances. I know I have mentioned it before, but adopting 1 child from Bulgaria costs at least $33,000. We would like to adopt siblings, which means it would be closer to $45,000. That is a lot of money. Thankfully, we don't have to pay this all at once. We pay smaller fees at a time and they are spaced out. However, it is still $2,000-$4,000 at a time, which is nothing to sneeze at. Right now, we are working on our home study and dossier. They are both a ton of paperwork. The home study also consists of interviews. Suprisingly, I am not worried about the interviews. God has called us to adopt and we already have a child/ren in Bulgaria, we just have to make it official. :) But we have to pay a home study fee before our first interview (January 23) and we don't have all of the money yet. We have had this issue before and God has provided everytime. After His provision, my faith and trust levels are always boosted higher and I can't believe that I didn't just trust God to begin with. Then, we get to this point again and all the worry comes back. I finally had a mini-meltdown last night. It is so hard to just wait and trust God to provide. This morning, I read out of my devotion book (I haven't been reading as often as I should, this will be a New Year's resolution!). The devotion, amazingly enough, was about not worrying. Here is part of the scripture that was used: Matthew 6:25a & 33-34 "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life... But seek first His kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." God is always listening and watching and providing. Worrying does nothing! The last sentence of the devotion was "Faith and worry don't mix." I need to remember to trust God to provide for this adoption. I don't know how He is going to do it. And I don't need to know, I just need to trust. Please continue to pray for us throughout this process. Pray that we would keep our faith and trust in God and that He would provide financially. Pray that God would continue to prepare us all to be a family.

Candle of Hope

Justin and I have found the most amazing church, Radford Baptist Church! The people are great and the preaching is straight out of God's word! I absolutely believe that God brought us to this church and at the exact right time. Everyone is so encouraging and super supportive of the adoption. This is exactly what we needed to get through this process and of course, God knew that. He is an awesome God!!

We were so blessed to be asked to share our adoption story this past Sunday. We lit a candle for hope(and lit it again when it blew out) and this is what we shared:

(Kathy) "We have both had a strong desire to adopt for a long time. We knew before we got married that we would adopt one day. And we actually started praying then that God would prepare us for it. Our plan was to have one or two children first, then adopt. We started trying almost 3 years ago.  Obviously, we weren't getting pregnant, we just didn't know why. Almost every month, we got our hopes up just to be let down. Something that was so easy for everyone else, seemed impossible for us. We started wondering what was wrong with us, or what we had done wrong and why God didn't want us to be parents.

  "Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." God had a different plan for us than we had for ourselves. We realize now that if we had children when we first started trying, we wouldn't be as focused and motivated to adopt now. Pastor karl has been talking about giving thanks for everything. As hard as it was, we are truly thankful for our struggles getting pregnant, because God has used that to prepare us for adoption and fill us up with hope and faith, and love for a child that we haven't even met yet. We started the adoption process in August and have seen God's guidance and provision every step of the way so far."

(Justin) "After hearing Kathy tell you our story, you probably think we would want to talk to you about our hope to have children. The real hope we want to share with you is the hope of the orphans here and around the world. The hope that someone would open their hearts and homes and adopt them into a forever family, just as Christ has adopted us into his Eternal family.

  "Ephesians 1:4-5 says, "Just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before Him, in love, having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself according to the good pleasure of His will." Without Christ's sacrifice we would still be orphaned, lost and hopeless. Our sin caused us to be orphaned from God our heavenly and eternal Father. Earthly orphans have done nothing to deserve separation from their families.

  "In James 1:27 we are told: "Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble and to keep oneself unspotted from the world." When I read this verse as a young man I knew I wanted to adopt, to give someone a chance that might not otherwise have one. After all, Christ adopted me and gave me hope when I had none.

  "Our hope is that the body of Christ, starting here at Radford and spreading throughout the world, would embrace James 1:27 and be a picture of Christ to all orphans. Giving hope to the hopeless, visiting them in their trouble, and adopting them into their families. Sharing the greatest hope that we have, the hope of eternal life in Jesus Christ. 

  "We have just come through the Thanksgiving holiday, a time when we focus on family and give thanks for them. Please remember to pray for those who have no family. As we look forward to Christmas and celebrating the birth of Christ, who came and brought to us the Hope and assurance of eternal life and being part of His Eternal family, please pray about how you can bring hope to orphans around the world. maybe it will be to adopt, give of your resources, go on a missions trip to an orphanage or just be a prayer warrior for others.

  "Pastor Karl has been talking about turning our world upside down. I truly believe as a body, we could turn the world upside down if we would allow ourselves to be moved into action by the Holy Spirit and the Word of God. In fact, I believe we could bring hope to all of the 143 million orphans and see all 143 million adopted. Ultimately being that selfless picture of Christ who adopted us into His family even though we were undeserving. Also, if the world saw us move to that kind of action for Christ, I believe we would do more than just give orphans home, but we would see many lost souls come to know Christ.

  "Please pray for Kathy and I, and all those who choose to adopt, for strength and perseverance, financial provisions, and that God would keep all orpans from harm and send the Gospel to them. Finally, pray that God would do a great work in His body and that we would all embrace James 1:27."

Thanks to everyone who listened to or read our story. But most of all, thank you God for choosing us to adopt and giving us the opportunity to share the burden of adoption with others.